inside out
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tentang Harapan
terhadap apa yang telah kutemui di sini.
Sejalur cahaya halus
dan nipis
menembusi ruang
yang gelap dan sempit.
Seolah-olah menjanjikan terang
yang meliputi.
Tetapi hanya tinggal sejalur cahaya
nipis dan semakin kusam.
Yang aku harapkan
adalah matahari,
terangnya melangkaui cakerawala
melepasi galaksi,
ke penghujung semesta.
Selingkar air menyulur
di dalam parit.
Seolah-olah menjanjikan
tasik yang penuh melimpah
di penghujungnya.
Tetapi kekal hanya air di parit yang
sebentar nanti akan
kering dan lenyap.
Yang aku harapkan
adalah lautan luas
dan tenang.
Tertebar bebas melepasi sayang-sayap unggas,
ke penghujung horizon.
Aku yang mungkin sempit,
dan mampu hanya
bermimpi,
tentang sesuatu yang tidak mungkin
akan terjadi di sini.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Shadow
embrace me;
won't you stay here
just for a bit longer
and make me forget
of this gaping emptiness.
How I wish
that you don't ever have to go
that I don't have to feel the cold
of your absence
all over again.
Monday, March 29, 2010
With A Trembling Heart
Please let me pass through this
with my two feet still walking
and my hands facing up
in search of spaces
where there is You
So that I will still feel
that I'm not alone in this
And that I have the courage
to do what I've meant to do
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Poison Tree
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow. And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles. And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,-- And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree. William Blake
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Map of the Problematique
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
And I feel
like everything I sow
is being swept away
well I refuse to let you go
I can't get it right
since I met you
Loneliness be over
when will this loneliness be over
Life will flash before my eyes
so scattered and lost
I want to touch the other side
No one
thinks they are to blame
why can't we see
when we bleed
we bleed the same
I can't get it right
since I met you
Loneliness be over
when will this loneliness be over
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Gugur
Kau bukan kekasihku
Lantas harus aku berputus asa padamu
Kerana kau sudah sempurna
dan aku tidak bisa melengkapimu
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Second Coming
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
William Butler Yeats
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Exo-Politics
Open the skies over me
I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for a sign
As conspiracies unwind
will you slam shut or free your mind?
or stay hypnotized
When the Zetas fill the skies
will our leaders tell us why
fully loaded satellites
will conquer nothing but our minds
I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for the sign
Carried through the centuries
secrets locked up
and loaded on my back
and it weighs me down
When the Zetas fill the skies
it's just our leaders in disguise
fully loaded satellites
will conquer nothing but our minds
I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for the sign
MUSE
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A Fool's Odyssey
that you fade.
But I can't stop now,
flowing through to you
Against this relentless deafening current,
upstream
for this stupid love.
My skin peels away
beating against the jagged boulders
Missing a thousand times
the jaws that stand waiting.
Don't you see?
That it is my nature
to kill myself
to love you.
But I can't stop now
'Cause either way
it is the end of me.
And I won't let this end
Without finding my way home
back to you.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Hate This And I'll Love You
Of allowing you to steal
Everything I have
You're making me feel
Like I was born to service you
But I am growing by the hour
You left us far behind
So we all discard our souls
And blaze through your skies
So unafraid to die
'Cause I was born to destroy you
And I am growing by the hour
And I'm getting strong in every way
You led me on
You led me on
You
I'm getting strong in every way
Matthew Bellamy
MUSE
Untitled
don't send me away.
Please mother
don't give me away.
Please sister
don't let them take me away.
Please brother
please let me stay.
Let me stay here with all of you
that I love.
Because the world is too beautiful and weary
and it is cruel.
And it wants
to take me to pieces.
And if I come back
I'd be lost.
All that you have made of me
would be withered and undone.
Paradox
And I'm the sky.
I'm blue
And I'm red.
I'm simple
And I am complicated.
I am a genius
And I'm a fool.
I'm whole
And I am in pieces.
I'm me
And I am you.
I'm everything
And I am nothing.
I'm alive
And I'm dead.
I am here
And I am gone.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
New Divide
the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash
as time began to blur
Like a startling sign
that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve
So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole,
connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth
that lies across this new divide
There was nothing in sight
but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide,
the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in
between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve
So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
across this new divide
In every loss, in every lie,
in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye
was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve
So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
Give me reason
to fill this hole,
connect the space between
Let it be enough
to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
Linkin Park
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Mad World
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Gary Jules
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tagged
1. I am (waiting to clock out! - still got 7 hrs to go..eeeee!)

2. I really want to go to (Pulau Perhentian..I'm desperately pining for it-refer to previous entry...)


5. My favourite drink (mango lassi)

6. My favourite food (lamb, especially grilled or BBQed)

7. My favourite colour-s (blue, green & beige)

8. I live in (Kesuma Lakes, Beranang)








Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Great Escape


Where the animals are friendly...

Perfect getaway,
Beautiful daydream...
Sigh....Can't wait to go back there.
Friday, November 21, 2008
What are You Looking for?
The anticipation
to feel your tired soul at the end of the day
to take off that burden
has left me
Drained out in sharp seeps
over subtle moments
almost unfelt
A universe of agony somewhere else
more blunt
that I could never know it
So, what is it?
On this parched ground
monotonous as far as the eye can see
you are a nonentity
colourless and vacuum
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Why I Love My Life
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Irony
Me:
(walking towards the pak guard, fuming) Encik, encik, nak bagitau ni..
Pak Guard:
Apa dia, kenapa nih?
Me:
Ada orang parking kat tempat saya la, dah banyak kali dah ni kereta yang sama. Kalau parking sekejap tu takpe la, tapi ni dah tiga empat kali dah dalam dua minggu ni. Pastu dia parking dari pagi sampai petang pulak tu!
Pak Guard:
Oooo, ni kita boleh ambik tindakan. Cik tunjuk kat saya kereta mana, saya panggil orang-orang saya untuk clamp kereta tu. Haii.. selalu problem orang parking kat tempat staff ni..
Me:
(walking towards my parking space with the Pak Guard) Tu lah, dah la panas, macam hari tu hujan lebat, pastu saya kena parking kat tempat orang lain, jauh betul. Geram betullah diorang ni!
Pak Guard:
Ok, ok, kita akan uruskan problem cik.. (arrived at my parking)... Eh! Alamak...Hehehehe..
Me:
Apasal encik?!
Pak Guard:
Hmmm.. Ni kereta saya la, sorry la ye, saya alihkan sekarang jugak. Sorry la ye, sorry...
What the...!
Harapkan pak guard, pak guard makan padi..
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Black and White
a distant cord
on the outside is forgotten
a constant need
to get along
and the animal awakens
and all I feel is black and white
the road is long
the memory slides
to the whole of my undoing
put aside
I put away
I push it back to get through each day
and all I feel is black and white
and I'm wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am
everybody loves you when you're easy
everybody hates when you're a bore
everyone is waiting for your entrance so
don't disappoint them
unravel me
untie this cord
the very centre of our union
is caving in
I can't endure
I am the archive of our failure
and all I feel is black and white
and I wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am
everybody loves you when you're easy so
don't disappoint them
Sarah Machlaclan
Surfacing
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
And Returning to Me
of a strange water
I looked for a place
for me in the abyss
You haunted me
and I passed you by
time and time
kept you waiting
in my bliss
and I was lost
My bubble burst
drowning in stiff water
my eyes wide and stinging
I've got to tell you
about the state that I am
The truth is
I miss you
And I am tired
of looking away
So I crawl back into your arms
And you are
the warming sun
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Erasing You
on my way
to a place
where there is no more traces
of you
leaving you behind
get out of my skin
for I've severed you with
blunt silences
bleed where you are
I will not stain my path
I've walked
to where there is no more traces
of you
you are left behind
graveless
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Salawat to Ummiyin Rasul S.A.W
O Messenger of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Most exalted by Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Best of all the creations of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Beloved of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Leader of all Messengers! May salutations be upon you.
O the Last of all the Messengers! May salutations be upon you.
O the Messenger of the Lord of All the worlds! May salutations be upon you.
O the Leader of the persons having enlightened faces and hands (on the Day of Judgement)! May salutations be upon you.
O the Warner! May salutations be upon you.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you, and upon your chaste and pious family members.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you, and upon your chaste wives who are the mothers of the believers.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you and your Companions.
O the Messenger! May salutations be upon you and upon all the Nabis and Messengers of Allah; and upon all the righteous servants of Allah.
<>
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Carry On
Dan tak kan menangisi malam
Untuk tetap berdiri
melawan hari
Kuakan bererti
ku takkan mati
Mungkin masaku telah berlalu
Mungkin hatiku tak berbentuk lagi
Rasa ini takkan terubati
Tetapi mati takkan mengubati
Kumenatap langit yang terang
Dan takkan menangisi malam
Kutetap berdiri...kumelawan hari
Ku akan bererti
ku takkan mati
2 DSD by Peterpan
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Grace
One of the predominant characteristics of us human beings are that we are full of flaws and imperfections; opposite of Allah who is the origin of all the glory, beauty and wholeness, manifested in His Asma-ul-Husna. Each of the Asma reveals an aspect of Allah that is discernable through the uniqueness, intricacy and the splendours of His creations and countless blessings that envelopes us and flow within us without us being aware of them.
He is the Creator and we, as part of the creations are at the mercy of Allah’s grace – the gift of existence, of air that we breathe, the mind to think and make choices, the body to perform whatever tasks to fulfill our needs, the food and water that we consume, in different forms, shapes, colour, flavour and the tounge to taste, the stomach to digest them accordingly and to absorb the good from them and remove the bad and unnecessary. And all the sights that we observe, the environment that live in, the places that we go to, the tools that we use and depend on, that we need to get our life going the way we have planned or to our likings, every second and moment of time.
The now, and the memories that makes us smile or frown, that taught us some lessons and fills our life with experiences, wisdom, and shapes who we are now and what we will become, of the possibilities and hopes that we have for the future and when things work out as planned or even better than what we have hoped for. And the people that we have around us, our loved ones, friends and acquaintances, enemies and strangers who enrich our lives and gives us some purpose in waking up everyday and going about living our life.
Every second of our existence is a precious gift from Allah, but how often do we even realize that at any next second it will all end or will be taken away from us. How often do we realize the extent of Allah’s uncountable and inconceivable gifts that He is granting us? Can all the Alhamdulillahs or thank you ever be sufficient to embody the amount of gratitude that should fill our hearts and minds?
And yet, all we do mostly is complain of all the things that we don’t have and the things that went or going wrong for us or in the world we live in. But who are we to say that all these wrongs are wrong? Is not Allah who makes things happen the way they happen, even the bad ones? We, who cannot even see an inch beyond our scope of vision or hear a decimal beyond our hearing capacity; or be sure of what others are thinking even if that person is standing right in front of us? Countless limitations compared to the perfection of Allah, the Grand Designer, the Knower of all things, the Master Planner. He plans, He designs and He initiates. He draws the paths, many of them and He puts in the hearts, minds, movements, actions; every little thoughts, deeds and words of the knowledge and ability to take any of the paths that are laid.
He rewards and He punishes. Can any reward be more glorious that His and any punishment be more intense than His?
Any blessing you have is from Allah. Then when harm touches you, it is to Him you cry for help. (An-Nahl: 53)
Monday, February 11, 2008
Deep Thinking - An Article by Harun Yahya
Have you ever thought about how the flowers you see in your living room everyday come out of pitch black, muddy soil with fragrant smells and are as colorful as they are?
Have you ever thought about how mosquitoes, which irritatingly fly around you, move their wings so fast that we are unable to see them?
Have you ever thought about how the peels of fruits such as bananas, watermelons, melons and oranges serve as wrappings of high quality, and how the fruits are packed in these wrappings so that they maintain their taste and fragrance?
Have you ever thought about the possibility that while you are asleep a sudden earthquake could raze your home, your office, and your city to the ground and that in a few seconds you could lose everything of the world you possess?
Have you ever thought of how your life passes away very quickly, and that you will grow old and become weak, and slowly lose your beauty, health and strength?
Have you ever thought about how one day you will find the angels of death appointed by God before you and that you will then leave this world?
Well, have you ever thought about why people are so attached to a world from which they will soon depart when what they basically need is to strive for the hereafter?
Man is a being whom God furnishes with the faculty of thought. Yet, most people do not use this very important faculty as they should. In fact, some people almost never think.
In truth, each person possesses a capacity for thought of which even he himself is unaware. Once man begins to use this capacity, facts he has not been able to realise until that very moment begin to be uncovered for him. The deeper he goes in reflection, the more his capacity to think improves, and this is possible for everyone. One just has to realise that one needs to reflect and then to strive hard.
Someone who does not think will remain totally distant from truths and lead his life in self-deception and error. As a result, he will not grasp the purpose of the creation of the world, and the reason for his existence on the earth. Yet, God has created everything with a purpose. This fact is stated in the Qur'an as follows:
We did not create the heavens and the earth and everything between them as a game. We did not create them except with truth but most of them do not know it. (Surat ad-Dukhan: 38-39)Did you suppose that We created you for amusement and that you would not return to Us? (Surat al-Muminun: 115)
Therefore, each person needs to ponder the purpose of creation, first as it concerns him himself, and then as it pertains to everything he sees in the universe and every event he experiences throughout his life. Someone who does not think, will understand the facts only after he dies, when he gives account before God, but then it will be too late. God says in the Qur'an that on the day of account, everybody will think and see the truth:
That day Hell is produced, that day man will remember; but how will the remembrance help him? He will say, "Oh! If only I had prepared in advance for this life of mine!" (Surat al-Fajr: 23-24)
The truth can be told to a person in many different ways; it can be shown by the use of details, pieces of evidence and by every means. Yet, if this person does not think over this truth on his own, sincerely and honestly with the purpose of comprehending the truth, all these efforts are useless. For this reason, when the messengers of God communicated the message to their people, they told them the truth clearly and then summoned them to think.
While God has given us a chance in the life of this world to reflect and derive conclusions from our reflections, to see the truth will bring us great gain in our life in the hereafter. For this reason, God has summoned all people, through His prophets and books, to reflect on their creation and on the creation of the universe:
Have they not reflected within themselves? God did not create the heavens and the earth and everything between them except with truth and for a fixed term. Yet many people reject the meeting with their Lord. (Surat ar-Rum: 8)
A man who reflects grasps the secrets of God's creation, the truth of the life of this world, the existence of hell and paradise, and the inner truth of matters. He gets a deeper understanding of the importance of being a person with whom God is pleased, and so he lives religion as is its due, recognizes God's attributes in everything he sees, and begins to think not according to what the majority of people demand but as God commands. As a result, he takes pleasure from beauty much more than others do, and does not suffer distress from baseless misapprehensions and worldly greed.
These are only a few of the beautiful things a person who thinks will gain in the world. The gain in the hereafter of someone who always finds the truth by thinking, is the love, approval, mercy and the paradise of our Lord, which are above everything else.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Multiple Intelligence
Kinaesthetic - Body Smart
Linguistic - Word Smart
Logical - Number Smart
Interpersonal - People Smart
Intrapersonal - Myself Smart
Musical - Music Smart
Visual/Spatial - Picture Smart
Naturalistic - Nature Smart
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
A Poem
It captured both innocence and so much of wisdom at the same time.
Revisiting it after so many experiences, becoming someone so different and so distant form that person that I used to be, the message proves to be a very good lesson of life indeed.
For Anne Gregory
by WB Yeats
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Love is...
Ahh..the sweet taste of freedom..
Friday, November 9, 2007
Cupcakes!!!
More info:-
http://www.kekcawan.blogspot.com/
Yummy!! :-)



Monday, November 5, 2007
Presence
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Interesting Turn of Events
He's been the most tender lover and the biggest jerk ever, all at the same time. Men can do that. And who says you can't figure out women??
Anyways, what I've can say for now is, been there and done with the stream of tears. I've packed my bag & on the way to my parents'. Hope we can still save "what was left" (according to him).
The fact is, only his ego is hurt and everything else is still in tact. The problem is, 99.5% of his existence is made up with his ego. And apparently it has been wiped out cruelly "like a tsunami". So there you go, only 0.5% left and that includes us & everything else. I can see the logic. The only thing is, it doesn't make sense.
Go figure.
Let's see where this ship will land. But I know it's going to land very soon somewhere.
Monday, July 9, 2007
When It Comes to Baju Kurung
Monday, July 2, 2007
Happiness
They make you feel that you are a significant part of their existence and that you have enriched their lives in the way no one else can.
And because of that, they feel the loss at your absence.
My loss is greater as I've lost the presence of so many people I've come to care and love, all at once...
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Thanks bro..
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Facing Problems
Have We not caused thy bosom to dilate, (QS. 94:1)
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -- Theodore Rubin.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Finally..
Oh, and by the way, Welcome to My Musings..


